Coincidences between the assassinations of John F. Kennedy and -- wait for it -- James Garfield

To help retire that well worn list of JFK-Abraham Lincoln “history repeats itself” mystical eerie unexplainable similarities (like a school book warehouse being the same thing as a tobacco barn), I present:

            John F. Kennedy-James Garfield assassination similarities!

This list of unexplainable coincidences is dedicated to the reality that by turning over enough rocks and framing selected details just right, we can “prove” anything we wish to.

Here they are:

Kennedy and Garfield’s successors, Lyndon Johnson and Chester Arthur, both had 13 letters in their names.

 

Johnson got Kennedy’s proposed Civil Rights bill passed by Congress, a first step in long needed progress.

Arthur got Garfield’s proposed Civil Service bill passed by Congress, a first step in long needed progress.

  

Kennedy’s assassin Lee Harvey Oswald pleaded for a favor (upgrading his dishonorable discharge from the Marines) by writing the Secretary of the Navy, and was angered that he got no response. He then wrote to the FBI threatening violence against high U.S. officials.

Garfield’s assassin Charles Guiteau pleaded for a favor (appointment as consul to France) by writing the White House and was angered that he got no response. He then wrote to the Secretary of the Army threatening to kill the president.

  

The assassination of Kennedy prompted a technology invented by Alexander Graham Bell to fail when Washington, D.C. phones widely went out from overuse when news of the shooting broke.

The assassination of Garfield prompted a technology invented by Alexander Graham Bell to fail when a metal detector Bell brought to the president’s doctors to locate the bullet could not find it.

 

Oswald and Guiteau both had mothers of French descent.

 

Both assassins had battered their wives. Both had trouble holding jobs down.

 

Oswald and Guiteau had moved to New York City in their youths.

Both also moved to what they thought would be utopian socialist places (Oswald the USSR; Guiteau the Oneida Biblical community in New York State). Both left disillusioned. 

Oswald and Guiteau both bought European-made guns valued at less than $20 from U.S. vendors to carry out their assassinations. Both presidents were hit by two bullets. Both were just a few feet from railroad tracks when shot.

 

  

Kennedy and Garfield both won, for their respective times, the closest popular vote victories by anyone elected president. Garfield beat Winfield Scott Hancock by 10,000 votes; Kennedy beat Richard Nixon by 100,000 votes.

 

Presidents Kennedy and Garfield opposed racial discrimination, both appointing record numbers of Blacks to federal positions.

  

Kennedy and Garfield both had two children die young. Both had two children go on to become lawyers.

 

Kennedy and Garfield fought in wars 20 years before their deaths, both being hailed as heroes in those wars.

  

The Camelot president’s grandchildren can read a comic strip about a cat called Garfield.

President Garfield’s grandchildren could read a comic strip called Prince Valiant, about a place called Camelot.

  

Kennedy’s widow went on to marry a Greek who had accumulated wealth.

Garfield’s widow went on to marry a geek who had accumulated welts -- no, actually James Garfield’s wife died before he even became president. But then Abraham Lincoln never had a secretary named Kennedy, which underscores how a little fibbing is part of this art! But all else on this list is true.

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                  Brian Arbenz lives in Louisville, Ky. USA.